


Iconic

by Lolo (TheLittleLo)



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what to tag this as lol, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Not Beta Read, a little??, and severe injury, fluff with a side of angst?, idk lol, starvation (in the context of sieges), though they are very minor and not actively happening in the present, we die like quynh.... repeatedly at the bottom of the ocean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleLo/pseuds/Lolo
Summary: Nicky and Joe have a lot of memories to sift through, sometimes they play a game to help keep important ones from fading.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 70
Kudos: 352





	Iconic

**Author's Note:**

> -Prompt for Ashley’s Birthday-  
> “One of Nicky’s favorite smooches. Like just a smooch he thinks about from Joe. Like an iconic smooch.”
> 
> I think you wanted fluff… but I’m me so it came out as angsty-fluff… I’m sorry 😅😅  
> Happy Birthday??? lol

Nicky jolted awake, gun already in hand before he even knew what was happening. The lights were still off, the door to their bedroom was still closed, but then his sleepy brain caught up to the present when he heard a pained gasp behind him.

“Sorry,” Joe whispered before Nicky had even placed the gun back on the nightstand.

He rolled onto his back to find Joe sitting up next to him, his elbows on his knees and head hung low from slumped shoulders. This wasn’t the first time Nicky had woken up to find Joe already awake, battling his demons alone in the three months since London. The reverse was just as common. To say they were a mess would be an understatement.

“The lab?” Nicky asked, pushing himself up to sit up next to Joe.

Joe nodded, he was taking deep, slightly uneven breaths, obviously coming down from a panic attack. Nicky placed a tentative hand between Joe’s shoulder blades, but when he flinched he thought better of it and settled on mirroring Joe’s position, elbows balanced on knees.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nicky asked.

“No,” Joe answered. Though he was right next to Nicky, he sounded far away.

Minutes ticked by as Nicky sat next to his love, feeling rather useless, but he knew Joe would let him know when he was ready.

“I’m sorry,” Joe repeated once his breathing had evened out.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Nicky said, softly as he could.

Joe nodded again to himself, but when he didn’t reach out a hand or lean into him, Nicky knew he needed to try something else to pull his husband out of his lingering nightmare. He scooted up the bed and sat with his back against the headboard. He paused, trying to find the right memory.

“Franco-Prussian, 1870,” Nicky said simply.

Joe breathed out of his nose, almost a laugh, but he didn’t move. Nicky waited, he knew Joe would take the bait eventually, it was obscure, and Nicky was fairly certain they hadn’t discussed this one since it happened

“Metz or Sedan?” Joe finally asked, his voice was already sounding steadier.

Nicky was on the back foot much sooner than he had expected, mostly because he didn’t remember anything of note happening at the Battle of Sedan. He hoped his momentary pause didn’t give Joe ammunition for the next time they played this game.

“Metz.”

Joe nodded to himself, Nicky could see the tension in his shoulders ease slightly.

“Nine weeks doesn’t exactly narrow it down by much,” Joe said.

“Nine weeks out of 900 years, I think you’ll manage.”

Nicky bent one leg up to settle his arm on, leaving the one closest to Joe extended, by design. 

“August, after the first attempt by the French to break the siege?” Joe said slowly, but Nicky could tell even he didn’t believe that was correct.

“You think I have fond memories of finding you dead on the battlefield?” Nicky balked, and Joe let out another almost laugh.

“We’ve had many a romantic returns to life over the years-”

“You were missing an arm Yusuf, I had to hold you while you screamed through the night and it healed.”

Joe froze, and for a moment Nicky was scared he’d gone too far by bringing up a different traumatic injury. But Joe reached out, placed a hand on Nicky’s shin and mused softly, “You know, I had completely forgotten about the arm.”

“Well, I have not,” Nicky said. He nudged at Joe’s hip with the side of his leg, “two more guesses.”

Joe finally moved to sit against the headboard but Nicky intercepted him, guiding him back to settle between his legs. Joe sank back easily and leaned against Nicky’s chest. He hummed and ran his hands over Nicky’s legs where they bracketed his own.

“Alright, let’s see.”

“You’ll never guess,” Nicky whispered into Joe’s ear. He didn’t necessarily intend for it to be flirtatious, but Joe shivered and nestled a little deeper into Nicky’s arms before continuing.

“Ah- I’ve got it,” Joe said. He really was sounding better by the minute. 

Joe turned his head slightly to get an awkward, over the shoulder look at Nicky. Even in the low light Nicky could see the small smile on his lips, he knew what he was about to guess, and it was wrong. He let him guess it anyway.

“Also August, but earlier, the night we arrived at Metz. The siege had already started a day or two prior when our battalion got there. It was night already as we pitched our tent, the field was cramped and we were surrounded by other soldiers sleeping soundly. I started it, if I remember correctly. We were both exhausted after two days of marching on almost no sleep. Still, I couldn’t stand it when you snuggled up to me for the first time in weeks, I had to do something- Oh Nicolò, if you had seen the state of your hair, I had no choice but to run my hands through it.”

Joe titled his chin slightly up to capture Nicky’s lips in a soft kiss, which of course he was more than happy to return. 

“You were also much louder than you should have been given the close quarters,” Joe added when they broke apart a moment later.

Nicky chuckled and crossed his arms over Joe’s chest. He pressed his lips to the back of Joe’s neck.

“That was a good night, though I remember quite a few distrustful and curious eyes on us the next morning,” Nicky said.

“I only had eyes for you, so I didn’t notice,” Joe said. His tone was completely playful and Nicky knew he was feeling more or less like himself.

Nicky nipped lightly at Joe’s neck in retaliation for the implication that Nicky was distracted. It was a well worn and not at all serious argument. Nicky was always the more observant of the two of them, and in truth they’d had to move their tent the next night due to the attention they earned. Luckily nothing came of it- most soldiers in the middle of war had more important things on their minds.

“A better memory, no limbs to regrow at least, but no, that’s not the one I’m thinking of.”

Joe made a disappointed noise, and a silence fell between them as Joe formulated his last guess.

Nicky was almost certain he wouldn’t get it. Most times they played this little game of theirs, whoever was guessing lost, if you could call it losing.

Over 900 years of memories and things got lost in the shuffle. Things blended together and warped with time. Details faded and both Joe and Nicky knew they forgot far more than they remembered. Luckily for them, they had two minds to hold all the memories they wanted to keep safe. Special ones, iconic ones, the most precious to them.

So they took turns reminding each other of moments. You either guessed the correct one or you didn’t remember it until the other pulled it back out of the recesses of your memory. Win- win.

“I’m sorry, I can’t remember any other moments from that campaign. Mostly I just remember watching the besieged French soldiers get thinner and thinner as they were forced to further ration their remaining food.”

Nicky hummed his agreement, sieges were always rough to live through. Slow and depressing marches toward defeat or victory- neither one feeling much different than the other in the long run for them. They had met amidst a siege- it was hard to think of that as a victory or a defeat for them. Hard to draw joy at their being brought together by something so horrible. It had gotten easier with time, but only just.

“Do you give up?” Nicky asked.

“Yes, yes- paint me a picture, though I don’t know what could possibly outshine our forbidden tent sex,” Joe titled his head back onto Nicky’s shoulder. Though he couldn’t see them, he was sure Joe’s eyes were closed, ready to try and remember whatever Nicky was about to tell him.

“It wasn’t in August, it was October. The siege had just ended, and there was a veritable parade of cattle and carts of food being sent into the newly surrendered city. It was early morning, there was still fog swirling around your feet, and you were already standing by the road, watching the procession of food pass by.”

Nicky brought a hand up to lightly pet at Joe’s hair, and nuzzled at Joe’s head with his own.

“I came up to stand next to you, and you were crying. A steady stream of tears was falling from your eyes, but you were also smiling. You turned your head to look at me, and the morning sun perfectly silhouetted your head where it hung low in the sky. I don’t remember what I said to you, but you responded by saying, ‘yes, this one feels like a victory.’” 

Joe turned his head and gave Nicky’s neck a kiss.

“You were so beautiful, you looked like an angel with your halo of sunlight, and I know I stared at you for a moment before either of us moved. This is always true, but in that moment I felt particularly lucky that you ever saw it in your heart to choose me to love. Then you pulled me close and kissed me. Just a simple kiss. We were not alone and I knew soldiers could see us but for once I didn’t care. We had already planned on moving on to rejoin Andy and- to rejoin the others. We made our exit quickly after that.”

Almost as soon as Nicky finished talking, Joe sat up and turned to kneel between Nicky’s legs. Joe looked at him, eyes full of understanding but also something that looked like worry or confusion. He placed his hands on either side of Nicky’s head, threading fingers into his hair and kissed Nicky’s forehead. 

“These people will live,” Joe said when he pulled away.

“Hmm?” Nicky was still caught up in the warm feelings of Joe kissing him, both in the memory and there in their bed.

“What you said to me,” Joe said. He moved his thumb over Nicky’s cheek, “You said, ‘these people will live.’ I may have shed a few tears of joy at the sight of those supplies moving into the city, but you were genuinely upset. I looked at you standing next to me, and you may have seen me as an angel, but I saw the love of my life was far away and broken by old wounds. We were standing by a dirty road in France, but you were back in Jerusalem. Forever with the guilt, my Nicolò.”

Nicky blinked back at Joe, he remembered the feelings of luck and gratitude. He must have buried the guilt, which was certainly not a new tactic for him.

“Are you chastising me for something I said 140 years ago?” Nicky asked, his tone was light, trying to pull back from the precipice of where he already knew Joe was taking the conversation.

“No, I’m reminding you -yet again, as I will until you finally internalize it- that you are forgiven.”

“I am supposed to be the one comforting you right now.”

Joe smiled as Nicky leaned forward to kiss him again.

“I remembered that moment already. I dismissed it as an option immediately because it is not a happy memory for me. I hate to see you so upset by things you did so many lifetimes ago. Things you have atoned for a hundred- a thousand times over.”

Nicky was about to apologise for bringing up something that caused Joe pain after what he’d been dreaming about, but Joe beat him to it.

“Don’t,” Joe said simply, “you just made an oft revisited memory of mine a bit brighter. Giving me a glimpse of how I am seen through your eyes is always a gift, thank you Nicky.”

Joe kissed Nicky one last time before he moved out of Nicky’s lap, and laid back down on his back.

“Are you feeling better?” Nicky asked.

“Much,” Joe hummed sleepily. He opened his arm, clearly inviting Nicky to snuggle up to him.

“Want to try and go back to sleep?” Nicky asked, settling his head on Joe’s chest.

“With you in my arms? How could I say no?”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Iconic (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28234281) by [sydkneemacc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydkneemacc/pseuds/sydkneemacc)




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